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*** (TIME CAPSULE) Bowies *Quick Sand* comes on and I get goosebumps all down my legs. I know its a weird one to associate with teenage lust but you cant really choose the songs that map out your life. Listening to it now Im transported back twelve years to Sharons party in Leith. 18 years old. I can feel him pressed against me/ smell his hair/ taste the kiss/ feel his fingers fumbling awkwardly between my legs. All the excitement and confusion has been sealed away in that one song. Like a Time Capsule. Ive been thinking about Byron a lot recently. The first man I ever fucked. Probably the only man I ever really loved. Dont know if Ill ever get over him to be honest. Occasionally if I smell or see or hear something that reminds me of him the pain explodes through me/ burning into every cell in my AH SHIT. Im even crying now. Big splashes of salty water dripping onto my hand as I type. Hang on a second. ~~~~~ Last Saturday I took a stroll down to Cockburn Street. I didnt have any. Three days ago she was a working class single mother of twins, devoid of any love or excitement. She lived virtually week to week to survive, and her long term ambition was her next payday just to keep her head above water. She was now embroiled with a patient of hers, who has now taken over her life and she just doesn't know which way to go.... She has just spent the day getting her body transformed in decoration to please a man she has known for approximately 60 hours. She looked in the interior mirror of her beaten up old ford car and checked her new hair style. Red with blond streaks....she liked it. She hoped her family liked it. Her dad would say he did even if he didn't. He would love for his daughter to find some happiness, that's a fact. He's had to help her with the k**s all there life since there waste of space father disappeared from there lives. She wondered what he would think if he knew what his daughter had been doing all day. She arrived home and parked as close to.
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